Knock, knock. Is this thing still on? Okay, you can hear me. Right. First of all, apologies for the lack of updates. I know it’s the lamest excuse ever, but it appears life has been getting in the way of writing. Also, for some time I’ve been having difficulty to find some good new words to write about. But I guess I’ve found one now which is applicable to my present situation.
Sanguine has various meanings, but the predominant one denotes a certain optimism, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation. It derives from the old French word ‘sanguin’ which means ‘blood-red’, ‘bloody’ or ‘blood-thirsty’. In order for me to explain how these meanings shifted so dramatically over the ages, a short history lesson: long, long ago medieval science had a theory about what they called ‘humors’. ‘Humors’ were bodily fluids such as blood, gall, and also a weird (non-existent) substance they called ‘bile’. To get back to the bloody part, in the middle ages medical professionals believed that these humors had to be balanced for a person to function normally. Of course, this balance was never fully achieved, which was why some people, with a great amount of so-called ‘black bile’ were given to depression and melancholy musings, while people with a predominance of blood were marked by a ruddy complexion and an optimistic disposition. Here endeth the lesson.
I think I may go out on a limb and say that in the history of the world people have faced some pretty difficult situations. Only in the past year some crazy things have happened all over the world. If you extend your gaze to the last decade, the last century, the last millennium... It really brings things into perspective, doesn’t it? Nevertheless, problems are problems, no matter how small they may be on a global scale. But in case of a quandary/conundrum/quagmire, I always admire people who are casual and matter-of-fact about it, and chose to bear it well. People who have nothing at all, people who have lost everything, people who are lonely and terrified and can’t even begin to estimate the total sum of their difficulties, but who nevertheless choose to be optimistic. Those people right there? I admire them. Because despite their problems, they are sanguine about it all.
I’m not sure why I chose this word to describe my current position in life, because if I had been more sanguine about it all, things might have turned out much better. Then again, I guess right now I’m feeling quite sanguine about things, even though it’s ostensibly as bad as it can possibly get. Let me draw you a picture.
I expected a lot from 2012. This might have had something to do with a steady rise in my general wellbeing at the end of 2011, and the fact that I’m slightly superstitious about what I choose to call my ‘lucky number 12’ (three days ago, for instance, I celebrated my birthday on the twelfth day of the twelfth month of 2012). I was certain that this year was going to be my year. I was going to live healthy, get out more, make some new friends, maybe even find myself a girlfriend, do well in my studies and be generally awesome. And for a while, it appeared that things were moving in that direction. The beginning of 2012 was genuinely awesome for me. Now, however, it appears that for such a tremendous ‘up’ there had to be a correspondingly big ‘low’. I guess this is where I am now.
But please do not fret. The fact is that I’ve been here before, and though sometimes it seems like the end of the world (which apparently is coming anyway - go figure), I’m still sanguine enough to know that it’s not.Yes, a lot of things went to hell. But there are some things to say for 2012, things which I didn’t anticipate but which were unexpectedly amazing. For one, I found a really good friend who is supportive and sweet and amazing. Secondly, I rediscovered my passion for writing. Which is convenient, because through all of this these have been the two things that have really kept me going. And if I have to reevaluate 2012 in the light of these unexpected discoveries, it’s really not half as bad as it sometimes appears to be.
In any circumstance I think a sanguine attitude is a healthy one. And one I hope to cultivate over time. I’m not sure what is going to happen in the near future. I have no plan, no ideas, no practical solution for my current quandary. As of yet, I’m taking things day by day. And if I can manage to brace myself and call on a sanguine state of mind, things might yet turn out okay. Right?